


Anchor

by punkflaming0



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Best Friends For Life, Bozer is the best, Daddy Issues, Depressive Thoughts, Emotional Whump, Emotional pain, Other, Pain, Self-Harm, Self-harming, selfharming, trigger - Freeform, triggering warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 16:53:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkflaming0/pseuds/punkflaming0
Summary: Mac could be a grown man, but instability would make him lose control like a baby boy.





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers!! I'm back!  
> I hope y'all like this work. I tried to write something about Mac and Bozer having a moment which Bozer shows how strong he is. He know Mac for time enough to help him almost better than a brother could do. He know's his best friend's needs.  
> That's why we're here.  
> Sorry for the triggers. I hope i tagged everything right.  
> ****  
> I don't have a beta reader!!! So i'm sorry for the mistakes!

Bozer knocked on Mac’s bedroom door for the third time and called his name. He was tired of heard the fake laughs from his TV. The blonde guy was locked there for two days now watching Nikki’s favorite sitcom episode after episode. It was driving Bozer crazy.

“Mac, open that fucking door!” Bozer screams again, fist bumping against the wood. “Mac! Oh come one Macgyver open that fucking door man, I’m tired of your quietness.”

Then Mac opened the door. Bozer felt relieved for seeing his best friends face but concerned for his state.

“Sorry. I lost the sense of time” He apologized poorly, giving his back to Bozer to turn off the tv. “Friends was Nikki’s favorite TV show.”

Bozer sighed and closed his eyes. After two months of Nikki’s death Mac was supposed to be feeling better, to be _acting_ differently at least, but he was still there, locking himself in his room and watching Friends and listening to her favorite songs non-stop.

“I know man” Wilt said opening the window of Mac’s room. “But life goes on, you know that.”

“You know that…” Mac repeat falling on his bed and covering his face with a pillow. “How can my life keep going on if everybody leaves me?”

With a good heart and tons of patience Bozer sat by Mac’s bed edge with the back to his friend and waited. Mac just needed to rant after two days isolated, without human contact, shower or food.

“My mom died, my dad left, my grandpa left too and now my girlfriend is dead, Boz. I’m just waiting for the day you’ll leave me too.” Macgyver said sitting on his bed, hugging the same pillow that he used to cover his face. “It hurts so much Boz I just wanted to just make this pain go away.”

Bozer just sighed again and leaned to pick Mac’s phone from his bedside table and unlocked it with his digital – one of the most personal thing they shared – and found out that the last thing he was seeing before leaving his phone was a picture of Nikki smiling while hugging Mac from behind.

“She was so loved”, Mac said between sobs. Bozer knew his face was red but he had no more strength to see his best friend in pieces. “Why did she leave me?”

“She died Mac, it was not a choice. It was just a car accident. It could have happened to you, me or even Jack.” Bozer closed his eyes, knowing exactly what Mac was going to reply.

“God hates me, he would never kill me, Boz, he wanna see me suffering.”

Tired of hearing his friend’s sobs, Bozer got up and opened his arms, offering his open chest for a hug. Mac just curled into a fetal position and cried silently.

“Oh come on dude, don’t leave me here looking all ridiculous.” Bozer forced a smile. “Hug me. I swear it will make you feel better.”

“No.” Mac sobbed, not even trying to dry the tears on his cheeks that were now wetting his hair.

“Only a hug, Mac” The shorter boy stayed with his arms opens. “One hug, and I’ll set something for you to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You need to shower.” Bozer stated.

“I’m not stinking.”

“Yes you are, you smell like sour male sweat and that’s gross.”

Mac looked up to Bozer with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“ _Gross_.” Bozer reforced.

“Okay.” The blonde secret spy could be depressed but not _gross_. “I’ll take a shower but I don’t wanna eat, really.”

Making Mac eat was a lost cause and Bozer knew that so he agreed with the shower. Things went easier than he thought it’d be.

“Come on, the hug and the shower.” Wilt insisted. “Right?”

Mac got up and with swollen face and shaken hands he hugged Bozer, acting weird because of the proximity of their bodies.

“A bro’s hug never made you uncomfortable.” Wil pointed pressing his hands on Mac’s back, obligating him to get closer to his chest. “Hug me properly man.”

“It’s okay. I’m stinking” Mac forced a smile while running away from the hug, running his hands over his face and then hair. “Even my hair is oily. I need a bath.”

Bozer followed every Mac’s steps to the bathroom. He simply knew something was wrong. The last time Mac acted this weird happened after his granddad passed.

“Can you close the door when you leave please?” Mac asked giving his back to Bozer while taking the pajama’s shirt off.

“Take your pants off then I’ll give you the privacy you want.” Bozer stated with arms crossed against his chest. The soft expression had already left his face. “You showed your arms too easily but not your thighs so… Go. Do it.”

He moved his hands towards Mac and waited. With shock, Mac only looked with surprised to Bozer and waited for the cinema director _wannabe_ and the cooking master to smile and laugh saying ‘just kidding man, have your bath in peace’. It didn’t happen.

“Really?” Mac said with a smile heavy with incredulity.

“Where’s your Swiss army knife?”

“I don’t know. I think I lost it.”

It was Bozer’s time to fake a smile.

“Really? Angus Macgyver lost his Swiss army knife? Even after taking it to Afghanistan and to I-Don-Know-Where-Istan with you? Bullshit.” With his hands on his hips, Bozer started to sound like a _dad_. “Where’s your Swiss army knife, Angus?”

“Bedside table.” Mac answered with blushed cheeks, crossing his arms against his bare chest.

It just took Bozer the blink of an eye to go to Mac’s room and be back to the bathroom with his Swiss army knife, his favorite weapon, a life savior actually.

“Can I check the blade?” The shorter young man said with his heart racing like a maniac.

“Yes.” Mac felt his voice tremble a bit.

“Should I check the blade?”

Mac waited a bit to answer and covered his mouth and nose with one hand before nodding negatively.

“Oh Mac…” Bozer felt like the blade itself had crossed his chest. “Again?”

Mac cried silently, showing the vulnerability he couldn’t hide since Nikki’s death – and undressing his pajama’s pants to show the cuts on both of his thighs, some of them really superficial but others a bit too deep and bright red.

“I’m sorry.” Mac cried like a kid when sitting on the bathroom’s floor. “Bozer I’m sorry.”

“Get up, come on, get up.”

Bozer left the Swiss army knife – without checking it’s blade – on the bathroom counter to grab Mac’s arms – that got slightly skinnier since he stopped eating properly – and put him again on his feet.

“Up.” Bozer said with eyes locked on Mac’s blue orbs. “You’ll shower, and we’ll take care of that cuts. Did you hear me?”

“I’m sorry.” Mac mumbled, feeling ashamed _again_ for being Bozer the one to put him again – literally – on his feet.

“Then take care of yourself, because you know how to do it. You’re just relapsing, okay?”

To that, Mac nodded – positively now.

“You’ll take a bath. First aid. Then I’ll call Jack.” Bozer gave the orders.

“No, please, don’t tell Jack.” Mac begged with sincere puppy eyes while Bozer guided him to under the shower. “Please, don’t tell Jack about _this_.” He said pointing to the cuts on his thighs.

“He’ll know, I can’t handle all this alone anymore Mac, now _I am_ scared of being left alone.” Bozer cupped Mac’s face with both hands and looked him directly in his eyes. “I’m scared of losing you.”

With a kiss on his forehead, Bozer showed Mac all the affection he needed at the moment.

“Keep the door open okay?” Wilt said when leaving the bathroom with Mac’s Swiss army knife inside his own pant pocket.

Mac showered and cried for an hour before Bozer appeared at the bathroom door to say “Jack is here”. He wasn’t ready for _that_ talk but he needed a turning point.

________________________

By Bozer’s orders Mac wore short shorts and short sleeved shirts. “Something to refresh your skin” he said after applying a cold balm on his thighs, “But you gotta wear short shorts”. The scars – and the red lines – were showing when he sat on the sofa in front of Jack.

The former Delta Force went directly to Mac’s thighs. When Bozer told him Mac was ‘hurting’ he never imagined he was _literally_ self-harming.

“So now you cut your thighs to feel the adrenaline and feel a physical relieve for the emotional pain you’ve been feeling?” Jack put his index finger deep in the wound. “You’ve been really self-harming since Nikki died?”

“Yes.” Mac simply answered.

“That’s all?”

Mac nodded.

“Then why am I here?”

The blonde man shrugged.

“Okay then.”

From the kitchen, Bozer looked to Jack from behind of his mug of coffee and tilted his head to Mac’s direction. _Do it_ , he wanted to say. _Talk to him_ , he screamed mentally.

“Jack, don’t be rude” Bozer verbalized.

“Bozer, what?” Mac looked to his best friend.

“Look,” Jack started, sitting on the edge of the armchair. “I’m here to help you, okay? And I’ll do it, I don’t care if it costs me an arm.”

“Or two.” Bozer added.

“Shut upt.” Jack raised a finger to Wilt and kept talking to Mac. “So you better know I’m here to clean your room, make you eat, shower every day and stay away from blades.”

“That’s stupid!” Mac protested, looking from Jack to Bozer. He was crying silently. “That’s a stupid intervention.”

“Stupid? Stupid is how I felt when I saw those cuts on your legs, man.” Jack said all frustrated. “You’re young, strong, you’re powerful, smart… I know that a ginormous brain like yours must have issues but you know you can count on us, for everything.”

“I know” Mac said low and sad.

“I don’t know what to say to make you feel better but I love you, kid. It hurts me to know that the son I choose suffers without letting me know.” Jack got up to sit with Mac and hug him by his shoulders. With his lips almost touching Mac’s ears, Jack confided him a thing. “We almost kill ourselves on every mission we go then stop trying to do Thornton’s work.”

Jack’s word made Mac smile softly – and cry even harder. He doesn’t want to die, he just want the pain to go away. And as he cried and sobbed even harder than earlier, Jack hugged him like he’d do with a kid, running his hands on his hair, soothing the young man.

Bozer would always be the best friend but he could never be the paternal image his friend really needed. He noticed that Jack would always help Mac better than him, calm him down easier and yet the stupidest advice would be listened – even if it’s to be ignored later.

He can’t explain if it’s the smell, the age or the wrinkles – or what Jack said with his lips touching Mac’s ear – but something changed his friend from that day on.

“Wanna eat?” Bozer would ask; “Yes, I’m a bit hungry”, Mac would answer.”

 _Baby steps_ , Jack said later, when cleaning Mac’s room. _Go slowly, clean your mind and focus on the good things._

“Stop reading things on google, Jack”, Mac said with a smile – that hasn’t showed up in weeks – while lying in bed.

“The baby steps means revisit your past, meet the root of that self-harming behavior and control your feelings, I trust you. That ginormous brain of yours is powerful enough to do that.”

“You like that word, ginormous, don’t you?”

“I like it.”

As the days were going, Bozer saw Mac get better in front of his eyes. Jack was always there, present, active, for lunch and dinner and even sleeping in their living room.

The feeling of having a _dad_ saved Mac and made the cuts heal.

“Thanks, Boz.” Mac said one night after they all were supposed to go to bed – Jack was already snoring on the couch. “For everything.”

“Wanna sleep with me? Like when we were kids?” Bozer smiled. “Double beds are made for this.”

They shared a room like they we’re twelve. Jack got so tired watching his favorite old TV shows that slept on the couch – like grandpa used to do and Bozer’s dad as usual.

Mac could be a grown man, but instability would make him lose control like a baby boy.

But Bozer was there to put his feet on the ground, like an anchor for out of the sea.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my work. See you in my next work. :)


End file.
